Meredith's Nightmare
by LexiIsAGleek
Summary: "Meredith wakes up thinking it's just another day in November. Little does she know that things are not as they seem" the summary is really bad but it's a good read... at least thats what i think, i could be wrong though. read it for yourself and let me know! This is my first fic ever so be gentle?


**A/N**: Ok so this is my first fic ever! i'm very excited for it to be up here. i've been reading so many amazing stories on here that it gave me some sort of need to write my own. i am NOT a writer i'm a reader (which is funny because my last name is Reeder lol). anyway this was just an idea i had swimming in my head and it wouldn't leave me alone so i wrote it out and here it is. sorry for any mistakes. i really sucked at writing in high school. i love Grey's Anatomy and the S8 finale left me heartbroken for weeks. Lexie was my favorite character so part of me died with her that night.

**A/N2**: in my world, aka this story, Zola does not exist...at all. i never really liked that whole storyline because Mer just doesn't seem like the mother type so every week i just ignore the fact that they adopted a baby.

so without further rambling from me i give you Meredith's Nightmare! enjoy! also reviews are greatly appreciated since i have no clue what i'm doing here! ;)

**Disclaimer**: i do not own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters. if i did Lexie would be alive and with Mark and MerDer would have never adopted a baby and since none of those things seem to be happening anytime soon you can clearly see that i'm (unfortunatly) not in charge.

I wake up to sunshine and the sound of birds outside. It's odd since its November when the birds should be mostly gone and it's never sunny in Seattle unless it's summer or late spring. Must be the start of a late Indian summer because the room is hotter than it was when I went to bed. I look down and see I only have a sheet and thin blanket covering me. I lift the blanket to see my pajamas. Shorts and a t-shirt? I could have sworn I was wearing flannel pants and a long sleeved shirt. Maybe I changed in the night from the heat without noticing? Yeah that must be it. I pull the blanket off and head for the bathroom. I glance at the clock as I pass it. It flashes 9:00am I've only slept for four hours. Surgery lasted until 4:00am and I didn't get home until five finally crashing into bed next to my already sleeping husband. With my bladder empty and teeth minty fresh, because morning breath is gross even if I'm not leaving the house today, I head downstairs for breakfast. I hear the faint sound of laughter coming up the stairs from the kitchen. It's a nice sound. Something that hasn't been heard very much around here since Lexie died. She was always giggling at something and it just feels wrong to laugh without her here to share it. My little sister. It still hurts so much to think about her but it's getting easier to remember the happy times and keep them happy rather than dwelling on the fact that we will never share those moments ever again. The laughter grows as I make my way to the kitchen. Jackson and April are sitting at the table, Alex is on one of the stools at the island and Derrek is leaning back against the counter near the sink waiting for the toaster to finish. It almost seems normal...almost, but not quite, there's still a small girl with brown hair and big eyes that's missing. Derrek notices me leaning in the doorway as I watch everyone.

"Morning sleepyhead. Feeling better?"

"umm, yeah I guess so. I wasn't asleep that long so I still feel a bit tired."

"Not asleep that long?" April scoffs. "You've been asleep for nearly 14 hours. We were

starting to think you were in some sort of coma."

"What? No I wasn't. I didn't get home until 5am. I've only been out for 4 hours."

"Noooooo," Alex draws out "you came home yesterday at six after the Anderson surgery was over. You ate some dinner then said you were going to bed because you were exhausted."

It feels like my head is spinning. I didn't have any patient named Anderson yesterday. I haven't seen Mr. Anderson since early May when he had to have an intense surgery that lasted for 10 agonizing and exhausting hours. We would put that man together and then something else would fall apart a moment later. It was more frustrating than having to put Humpty Dumpty together.

"No that can't be right. Mr. Anderson hasn't been in since May."

Everyone is looking at me like I'm some crazy person that just escaped from the nut house. Frankly I feel like a crazy person. Why are they all talking about Mr. Anderson as if we just treated him, and why is it so bright outside and so damn hot in here? Nothing seems to be adding up and I just want it all to stop. They all must see the distress on my face because Derek is getting a glass of water for me and April and Jackson are on both sides of me urging me to sit in one of the chairs at the table. Derek brings over the glass filled with water. He puts his hand on my forehead as I drink half the glass down. It feels nice and cool as it slips down my throat.

"Well she doesn't have a fever. Mer why are you acting so funny? It's like you don't even remember yesterday."

"I do remember it," I say "but I remember it from _May_."

"Mer," Alex says looking at me strangely "it _is_ May. Today is May 7th. What month did you think it was? Did you hit your head getting up this morning? Maybe fell off the bed and bumped it on the side table?"

"No I didn't hit my head. And it is not _May_, it's _November_."

They're no longer thinking I'm a crazy person. Nope, right now they're all confirming it in their heads and thinking of how they can check me into the psych ward without me noticing. At least that's what their faces are saying as every single one of them stares at me. Jackson is the first to break this very awkward silence.

"Mer what makes you think it's November?"

"_Because_," I draw out "we just had Thanksgiving 3 days ago remember? We didn't do anything but eat pizza and watch TV because it was the first holiday since... well since Lexie died and we were all too sad to do anything else."

"Since _WHAT_?!" They all scream it in such perfect unison it's almost scary.

"Since Lexie died. We haven't had any other major events without her. This was our first and we didn't know what to do so we just, didn't do anything I guess." I shrug as if it were the most obvious thing in the entire world. They're all still stunned from what I said before and just looking with shocked faces.

"Meredith what makes you think Lexie is dead?" Derek asks still trying to wrap his head around everything.

"Derek you were there remember? The plane crash, the woods, being stranded out there for days, your hand?"

"My hand? What about my hand?"

"Your hand was jammed in that hunk of metal from the plane and your nerves were damaged. See?"

I grab Derek's left arm just above the wrist so I won't hurt him and hold it up for him to see the scars from his surgeries but as I bring it up I look for myself and see that the scars have somehow disappeared. All of them have just vanished and it looks just like it did 7 months ago before the crash.

"That's not possible." I whisper in disbelief. "There were scars all over your hand just yesterday, I saw them myself."

This isn't happening. I can't be going crazy. Not yet. I'm to young to lose my mind completely. The room suddenly feels like it's spinning and I feel sick to my stomach. I drop Derek's arm as I stand from my chair and walk over to the sink on the other side of the kitchen. If I'm going to vomit I'm sure as hell not doing it on the hardwood floors. I grip the edges of the counter so hard my knuckles turn white.

"This isn't happening. They're dead. We crashed 6 months ago and they died."

Derek takes a couple of steps in my direction.

"They? Who's they?"

"Lexie and Mark. They both died. He was taken off of life support 2 months after we got back. He slipped into a coma and requested to be taken off after 30 days. They're both gone."

I hear footsteps somewhere behind Derek. I still have my back to the rest of the kitchen so I assume it's just April, Jackson, or Alex heading to grab the keys to any of our cars to drive me to a psych ward until I hear a very familiar voice that doesn't belong to any of the people that have just watched me lose my grip on reality.

"Who's gone?"

I spin around at the sound of her voice so fast I nearly give myself whiplash. There standing in the doorway of the kitchen is a small girl with dark brown hair and big hazel eyes wearing a pair of bed shorts and a Harvard University t-shirt. She rubs her eyes and yawns as I stare at her in shock. Because standing about 10 feet away from me is my beautiful baby sister, alive and breathing, looking like a little girl with sleepy eyes who just woke up.

"...Lexie?" I say grabbing for the counter behind me for support before I fall over.

"umm yeah, who else were you expecting?"

"Lexie!" I use all my strength to push myself from the counter and sprint towards her. Her eyes go wide and she starts to run out of the kitchen and down the hall but I catch her just in time before she can turn into the living room. I wrap my arms around her pick her up and spin her around. I stop spinning and put her back down but refuse to pull away from her. She's right here, in my arms. I can feel her heartbeat racing in her chest and her tiny little body warm and breathing in my arms. I'm afraid if I pull back she'll disappear and I can't go through that again. She finally gives up on trying to struggle out of the death grip I have on her and just stands there letting me hold on for dear life.

"Mer are you ok? You're hugging me, and we never do that...like _ever_."

"You're here. You're really here moving and breathing. You're alive."

My eyes are still shut and I have yet to pull away from her but I can almost feel the confused look that is on her face right now.

"Of course I'm alive. Did you think something happened to me?"

"Yes, something did happen! You were gone. We were in a plane crash and you were flung from the back of the plane and part of the wing landed on top of you. You died in the middle of nowhere and I never got to say goodbye to you. Derek injured his hand, Christina went crazy and moved to _Minnesota_, Arizona lost her leg, and Mark died after we got him back home and he slipped into a coma."

I'm sobbing uncontrollably and can barely catch my breath as I speak to her. My entire body is shaking so much I'm surprised I'm still standing up. As I continue crying I feel Lexie wrap her arms around my neck and hold me tightly while she tries to calm me down.

"Shhhh, Mer it's ok. I'm right here. I'm alright. I never went anywhere and I don't plan on leaving anytime soon. Guess your butt is stuck being my big sister for the rest of your life huh?"

I laugh a little and pull back just far enough to look at her face still not releasing her from my arms.

"I am perfectly fine with having my little sister around for the rest of time. Hell you'll be lucky if I ever let you out of my sight again. I love you Lex."

"I love you too Mer. Now how about we make some breakfast and you can tell me all about this dream that's making you act all kinds of crazy. Seriously Mer? It all seems a little out there if you ask me. Even for your dark and twisty mind." she giggles as she taps her finger on the side of my head. God I'll never get tired of hearing my little sisters laugh.

"Yeah I guess it is all kinda crazy huh? I mean what are the odds that you and Mark would die and Arizona would lose her leg?"

"Oh no, all that is completely realistic. But Christina going crazy and moving to _Minnesota_? Come on Mer lets be serious. That kind of stuff only happens on TV."

"Very funny Lex. It just seemed so real. I never want to feel that kind of pain ever again."

"Well you won't have to, not if I have any say in it."

"Good."

I smile at her and start walking towards the kitchen with our arms still secured around each other. There is no way in hell I'm letting go of her for at least a week.

"Oh," I say just as we reach the doorway to the kitchen " in a week if Owen asks any of us to get on a plane Boise for a surgery, tell him we'll all be driving."

"But that's like a 10 hour drive." Alex exclaims.

"I don't care if it's on the other side of the world, none of us are ever going near a plane as long as I'm around. I'm not risking the safety of my family."

And with that no one fights me on the subject and we all make breakfast together as I tell everyone about my crazy nightmare.


End file.
